Tired Mama.com

Twelve things my son needs to know....

There are all sorts of lists on the internet that document the things we should teach our children.

These lists tell us to teach our kids to believe in themselves, to dream, to dance, to sing, to be polite and to do all sorts of other good things. However, there are other things my teenage son needs to know too. 

So, today I thought I would share that list:

1. Be kind to little children, one day that gawky little girl next door will grow up to be gorgeous and she’ll tell all her beautiful friends how sweet you are. Women remember everything.
2. When a girl gets her period at school? You notice nothing, you say nothing, you offer no help, you just quickly and quietly walk away. Trust.
3. Don’t fart in small enclosed spaces. This should need no further explanation but, when you get a minute, could you explain it to your father for me? Thanks.
4. Nothing good ever happens after 2 am.
5. Don’t pick your nose in public. Ever. That includes when you’re alone in a car.
6. Never ask anyone else about their salary or their grades. Feel free to share this one with your friends.
7. If it's already on fire, put away the lighter fluid. And I'm not just talking about BBQ's or campfires here.
8. Pull up your jeans! No one really needs to see the brand name of your underwear and years from now you're going to be mortified by the pictures.
9. If you wouldn’t say it to EVERYONE in person, don’t post it on a blog, on Facebook, tweet it or put it anywhere near cyber space. One day you will need a job.
10. Never take incriminating pictures of yourself or anyone else on your cell phone. One day you will be drunk.
11. None of this hard work counts, if you don't graduate.
12. And always remember, even though I don’t always like everything you do, I will always love you. Yes, always.

Your,
Tired Mama

Dishwasher Love

I've just read that kids often understand concepts better when they are explained with pictures instead of words.

So, today I drew this. 

Yes, it is trying to help my children understand that putting their dishes in the dishwasher will make their Mama happy.

My children seem to be having problems grasping this concept.

Okay, so kids? Sink bad. Dishwasher good.

Think it'll work?

TGIF

My teenagers think they have me all figured out. 

You know what I think?

I think horrible teen attitudes have nothing to do with hormones.

I think teens just figure that if they are rotten enough to us that we'll let them stay out late at night just so we can have some peace and quiet.

What they've forgotten however is that they still need us to pick them up from where ever they are hanging out.

And teens? I need my sleep more then I need peace.  

So, pester away, cause the curfew?

It's still there.

 

Yeah, it's like that...

On Sunday afternoon, my husband came downstairs from his office where he'd been all morning working on income tax stuff. 

'I need a break,' he told me while rubbing his neck.

'Okay,' I acknowledged from behind my laptop.

Moments later he reappeared in front of me.

'I want to check the score on the football game,' he announced.

I waited.

'Youngest daughter and her friends are watching a movie in the family room and our son and his friends are playing a video game downstairs,' he said.

I looked up at him and tried to be helpful.

'Costco was clearing out TVs when I was there yesterday.' I said.

He just huffed away.

It's hard to be the king when the kids take control of the remotes - and just about everything else.

Sigh.

 

Just killing time...

This morning I went to buy a cup of tea at a local coffee shop while my daughter was at her music lesson.

Although I don't go to this particular coffee shop every Saturday morning, I do go there often enough that I recognize the people working behind the counter. This morning, in my standard polite Canadian way, I asked the gentleman who was serving me how he was.

'Just killing time until I die,' he replied.

 Ouch.

He did grin at me after he said it, which led me to believe he was just looking for a reaction, but, really?

I mean, REALLY?

I guess in reality that's what we're all doing, but thanks for the cheery words at 9 am on a lovely sunny Saturday morning.

So uh, kids? Just so you know, Eeyore is working at the corner coffee shop in the north west end of my town. Or maybe he's that kid from Charlie Brown who walks around with a rain cloud over his head.

Either way, I think I'll go to a different place to get my tea next Saturday morning.

We all scream for...

 

 

How to use a hanger

I know I've posted about this before, but it seems my children need a reminder. 

You see, now that we have colder weather I have sent all my kids to school properly equipped with warm footwear, mittens, hats, scarves and a suitable coat.

But, all this toasty warm and fairly expensive gear is now lying on my mud room floor. At least the stuff that's not molding in the lost and found at school is in there, I must admit I haven't done a complete inventory.

Which leads me to - hangers.

Okay, so kids? See that little picture at the top of this post? Don't be scared, that's a hanger.

Mittens go in your coat pockets, and then the sleeves of your coat need to go over the pointy ends of this hanger thing. You then need to take the top hooked part and place it over the rod in the mud room closet. This should take about oh, all of ten seconds.

Boots can also be placed in the bottom of the same closet on the boot mats.

Hangers and boot mats are our friends. Please start using them.

I appreciate your attention.

Gesh.

I'm going to visit Minnie Mouse!

We're going to Walt Disney World.

Soon.

My kids are getting a little too big for Disney, or so they tell me, but it doesn't matter because I'm dragging them to enjoy the magic anyway.

You know what I like most about Disney today though? 

I like the fact that when I went to their site to check on my reservation, I was greeted by Donald Duck and a little sign telling me how many days it was until my Disney vacation began.

That is how many days it is until I can walk around outside without a coat.

That's how many days it is until someone else cooks the family meals, does the dishes, makes the beds, dusts the shelves, wipes the counters and vacuums the floors of my living space.

That's how many days it is until I don't have to spend my evenings driving kids to their activies and fighting with them to do homework or practice their music. 

How many days it is until I GET A VACATION.

So yeah, that little sign made me smile.

Actually, I wanted to flippin' kiss the little thing.

The Disney marketing machine? 

It's the best people, simply the best.

It'll grow back...

Sadie is having a hard time today.

You see I took her to get a fur-cut and it went rather badly. 

I guess she liked being a fluffy white ball of fur. But when she started trotting into walls I decided that something needed to be done. She was a little too fluffy.

So, 'cut it short,' I said.

And they did.

But now she's unhappy and she's been hiding behind the couch all morning. I think she feels ugly.  And when I took her for a walk? She was shivering. 

Who knew a fur-cut could make a puppy feel bad. 

Now I feel guilty. 

I mean I know every female has had a bad haircut in their life and has had to suffer through a grow back stage, but I didn't know a dog could feel bad about it too.

Sorry, Sadie. I'll be more careful with my instructions next time.

But honestly? Even though the kids are giving you a really hard time, it isn't really that horrible. 

Honest.

Sigh.

Sometimes I yell the stupidest things...

This past weekend we were puppy sitting. 

It all went well, our ten month old puppy, Sadie got along very well with my niece's six month old puppy. They played, they ran, they ate, and they did all sorts of puppy things together.

Now Dex, my niece's dog is still young and so about 3 am this morning he was crying in his crate that he needed to go outside.

So, I stumbled out of bed and took both puppies outside for a pee.

But while they were both outside, doing their uh, business, Dex started to bark at the light snow that was falling.

In my tired state, I decided it would be a good idea to yell at him to pipe down before he woke up the neighbours.

Except, my tongue got tied, and I started to yell out my dog's name by habit and then, being somewhat awake, I realized half way through that I was calling the wrong dog and changed the name.

So yes, at 3 am on Sunday morning, I was out, in my PJ's, in the snow, standing on my back deck yelling, so all the neighbours could hear...

The S from Sadie and the EX from Dex.

I yelled it several times too.

Lovely.

I wonder what they thought I was doing - celebrating it or searching for some?

Sigh.

What's in a name?

When my daughter entered sixth grade last September, she started at a brand new school. It's been a great success, she likes it, she's making friends, she's doing well. It's all good.

When she started at this new school however, she changed her name.

It was nothing too drastic, let's say her name is Elizabeth*, well at the new school she asked everyone to call her Lizzie.

Lizzie. My sweet little Elizabeth is now a Lizzie.

In fairness, she did ask if it was okay with me before she did it, and I told her I was fine with it, but I would continue to call her Elizabeth. But, I assured her, if she wanted all her friends to call her Lizzie, that was okay.

So, now at school, she signs all her papers, Lizzie. Her friends and even her teachers call her, Lizzie.

When we had parent-teacher interviews, all the paperwork was made out in her given name. The teachers referred to her as Lizzie however until I started referring to her as Elizabeth. They then paused for half a beat, and started to refer to her as Elizabeth too for the remainder of the conference.

When her new friends call the house and ask to speak with Lizzie, I pause for half a beat and then call Elizabeth to the phone.

But it's a little unsettling for me. My little girl was Elizabeth Anne since I first felt her roll in my tummy, and it's tough for me to think of her by any other name.

But I will, because it's really no big deal. The name is cute and really, I suppose, it's hers to pick. 

My baby is growing up.

 

* Yep, she's not really an Elizabeth, but if it's okay with you, I'll just keep her real name to myself and out of the blog world for a little longer. :)

Cats like trees

I didn't realize cats could get depressed.

But they can. Right now our cat is slinking around the house, with his tail down, looking like he's just lost his best friend.

You see, my silly silver tabby cat is in a total funk because we took down his Christmas tree. 

Yep, his.

Our damn cat LOVES Christmas trees. He loves climbing them, he loves breaking the ornaments on them, he loves swinging down from their branches to scare the puppy and he loves sleeping under them.

And now that the Christmas tree is out at the curb and he is stuck in the house looking out the window at it? 

He loves wailing at it. 

And he's not being quiet about it either.

Poor baby.

Never a dull (or quiet) moment around here.....

Been there, done that.

I drive a mini-van. Actually, I'm on my THIRD mini-van over the past seventeen years.

I know it's not cool, but with three kids, a cat, a dog and the hut-in-the-woods we visit regularly, it's been a great family vehicle.

My only problem with it is that it's just rather ah, Momish. 

Now that my current van is getting long in the tooth, my hubby and I have started talking and budgeting for what we should be buying next.

Personally? I'd like something small, something like a CAR.

My hubby however likes having the van around as the mini-van does haul everyone and everything where we need to go, it gets great mileage and it's kind to the environment - or as kind as a car that carries eight around can be.

I get it but I still would like a CAR. I'm feeling like I've done enough Mommy-mobile years. I think it's time for me to be 'cooler' or maybe just slightly less Momish.

So, hubby? How about I get a new car and if you still think we need a van, you can trade in your truck and drive the mommy van around for the next seven years?

Fair is fair....

Tired Mama's Organizing Tips

The night before my entire extended family came over to my house to celebrate Christmas I took a large cardboard box and filled it with all the clutter in my office.

I then lugged that big box to the basement and shoved it into the back of a closet and closed the door on it.

What can I say? I was out of time and my office is at the front of the house, people were going to see it and I needed a fast way to tidy it up.

It might not have been the best office organizing idea but it sure made that space look a heck of a lot better.

Now, about a week later, I am still enjoying a less cluttered office and I've just realized that I have not yet missed a single thing that I shoved into that box.

A minute ago, when I remembered this box, I contemplated going and digging it out and rummaging through it to see what I actually threw in there.

But I have now decided that I should probably just put the whole box out for trash pick-up or donate it to a charity shop. If I haven't missed it yet then I probably don't need the stuff in it, right? 

And I'm also contemplating doing it with every other room in my house. I wonder if anyone in my family would even notice?

The sad part? I honestly don't think they would.

Sigh.

 

 

Materialistic Mess

My hubby just finished dragging three large bins of cardboard recycling to the end of our driveway for pick-up tomorrow.

It is a good job to have done, and my less cluttered garage thanks him.

But there it is, outside my office window - the waste of Christmas.

And, while I love the gifts I received, and I love the family time we had together, those big bins of cardboard seem like such a waste. 

It just doesn't seem like we really needed all the stuff that cardboard once housed.

It just seems like too much uh, excessiveness.

I'm glad it's getting recycled but we still need to cut back.

And that, going into 2012, is my new year's resolution.

To use less and do more with what we have.

I have no idea what I'm going to do exactly, but I've got an entire year to figure it out. 

Are you making a resolution?

It's done...

Christmas is finished.

The presents are all unwrapped and all the family commitments are done.

Wow.

Now comes all the exchanges, pack-ups and recycling chores.

And with all this cleaning up also comes a week and a half of the kids being home from school.

And, you know what that means?

Soon they are going to start telling me they're bored.

Yep, and once they start complaining about being bored they will start bickering with each other and then they will all be coming to me to negotiate their fights.

And once they get tired of picking on each other then they will start to demand that I dream up ways to keep them entertained.

You know, the holidays aren't what they used to be. Do you remember the before-kid-days of holiday bliss made up of lying in bed late, reading newspapers with coffee and then putting together leisurely lunches before an afternoon nap?

No?

Well honestly, I don't really remember them either. But doesn't it sound lovely? 

How many days until school starts again?

Tired. I'm just tired.

I am tired.

Every part of me just wants to be left alone so I can turn into jelly.

Yep, jelly.

I have no desire to do anything.

Breathing right now seems energetic.

Going up the stairs to take a nap seems like too much effort.

I have no idea why.

Well, actually I do.

It's called Christmas.

It's because of the decorating, card writing, wrapping, giving, toasting, visiting, cooking, roasting, baking, shopping, returning, welcoming and uh, the hundred more holiday things I did.

It was all very nice, but it just exhausted me.

Now, I'm tired and I just want to be quiet and left alone to recharge for a bit.

But with all three kids and the hubby off for the next week? That's probably just not going to happen.

Sigh.

Merry Christmas

Enjoy your day, your family and maybe some down time when it's done.

Oh, and just in case I eat myself into a coma or something? 

Happy New Year too.

Christmas Shopping

I took my youngest daughter out to the local HUGE mall today and we did some Christmas shopping.

It was nice. We talked, we walked, we browsed and then we stood in line to pay for things.

She was so happy to get out to this particular mall that she talked a mile a minute all the way there and then she practically danced through the parking lot in her excitement to get inside.

We got a few things stroked off our lists and we had a nice dinner together too.

But really the best part for me was seeing her so happy.

She was happy to be out and she was happy to be spending time with me.

And at eleven years old, I am probably counting on two fingers the number of years I have left of her being happy to go Christmas shopping with boring old Mom.

But then again, she will still need me to pay for her things for a few years yet so maybe I can drag out this Christmas shopping together thing for at least a couple more years.

Here's hoping....

 

What am I doing wrong?

Are you running around getting ready for Christmas?

I am.

Have you ever stopped to wonder why it's so flipin' hard?

I mean really, all I need to do is buy and wrap a few gifts, put up and decorate a tree and put on a family meal.

That doesn't sound too hard, does it? 

So, why does Christmas take soooo much time and energy?

Why is my to-do list a hundred miles long?

Why? 

Why? Why? Why?

Sigh.

Tis the season...

I was out buying Christmas ornaments today when I met quite possibly the rudest store clerk that has ever blessed the retail world.

I stood in line and watched as the elderly lady in front of me couldn't figure out how to use the debt card machine and this clerk yelled at the poor women and called her a very rude name.

When I got up to the cash, this same clerk actually dropped and broke one of the glass ornaments I was about to buy.

When she went to ring it up I told her I didn't want it if it was broken. She huffed at me and then told me she would give me a discount on it.

Some how getting a glass ornament with a broken Santa head for 10% off didn't seem that great a deal to me.

I'm funny like that. 

So, I guess we're gonna be one ornament shy on the Christmas tree this year.

I e-mailed the store's customer service department tonight, it'll be interesting to see if they get back to me.

I'm planning on doing more of my Christmas shopping tomorrow at the mall, after today's experience, I just can't wait to see how that's going to go.

Fa la la la la la la la fail.

Sigh.

Let's rethink this. Okay?

In 1928 all kids wanted for Christmas was a Duncan Yo-yo.

In 1983, Cabbage Patch Kid dolls caused a stampede at my local department store.

In 1996, everyone was rushing around looking for a Tickle Me Elmo and in 2007, everyone was gifting the iPod Touch.

This year? This year my youngest asked for a Fijit Friend for Christmas.

A green one.

And yeah, I've been driving all over trying to locate one. 

And yes, I've stood in line at Toys R Us to get a rain check for one on a Friday night at 11 pm.

And yes, I've even considered driving for an hour to do some cross border shopping to get one.

I'm doing this because she didn't really ask for much else this year.

And I'm doing this because they're not really that expensive so, at first, it didn't seem like that big a deal.

And I'm doing this because she asked SANTA for one.

And honestly?

I'm doing this because I'm slightly crazy.

Sigh.

My list for today...

Picked up one daughter from a sleep-over that left her teary and over tired - Check.

Decorated one sliver and blue Christmas tree - Check.

Watched my son and husband play 'keep it up' with the soccer ball in the backyard for thirty seconds - Check.

Got ready and almost out the door to a piano recital - Half a Check.

Helped husband into the van and drove him to the ER after injuring himself playing 'keep it up' - Check.

Spent four hours in the ER - Check.

Missed the piano recital - Check.

Bought a shiny new pair of crutches for hubby - Check.

Comforted one overly sensitive daughter, who was frightened by her Dad's hospital visit and pain - Check.

Heated one frozen pizza for dinner - Check.

Proof read and commented on two high school essays due tomorrow - Check.

House tidied? - No Check.

Laundry done? - No Check.

Dishes done? - No Check.

Christmas crap still spread all over the house? - Check.

Tired? - Double Check.

Sigh.

Meh. It's Christmas.

I tried to set aside some time over the last few days to get the Christmas stuff strewn around the house.

I haven't done it though, for some reason I just haven't felt like it.

I did a little, but I should probably do more, but meh....

You know that feeling?

Meh?

I'm going to go into my daughter's elementary school tomorrow and help wrap for the Christmas bake sale that's scheduled for this weekend. Maybe that'll help get me in the holiday mood.

If that doesn't work I think I'll go and buy some egg nog.

Because with egg nog? There's rum.

And if rum and egg nog can't get one in the mood for the season, then nothing's gonna work.

Happy holiday preparation, everyone....

 

It's the most wonderful time of the year. Again.

In two days it will be December and I will feel the pressure to get my Christmas act together.

Sigh.

I have a love/hate relationship going on with Christmas.

I love the caroling, the excited expectations of the kids, the smell of a fresh cut tree in the house and the treats.

I hate the clutter, the expense and the mess of the holidays.

Yeah.

So, for the next few weeks I will be trying to get my holiday act together while hanging onto my Christmas cheer.

I am going to try to remember that this holiday is supposed to be fun and um, magical.

I am also going to try and ignore the mess,clutter and expense that will be created while we produce this aforementioned magic.

Stay tuned.

It's all going to pot...

This is the time of the year when I usually change the background of this blog to a Christmas theme.

I'm going to leave my blog's fall theme up for a few more days however because I need to clear something up. You see I got a lovely e-mail yesterday from a reader who asked me if I realized I had pot leaves all over my web page.

Yep, someone out there thinks I've got marijuana leaves in my side bars.

Now, since I'm not a real weed expert, I did what any Mom in my situation would do.

I called my teen.

She, and all her friends, came to my rescue and reassured me that I have Japanese Maple leaves on my page and not marijuana leaves.

I'm very happy to have this cleared up - I don't want to be known as PotMama.

And look, here's a picture comparison too. And now that I've actually seen what a pot leaf looks like, I totally get the confusion.

Ahem.

And no, I don't want to know why my oldest daughter and her friends are so certain about this.

Did I mention that I'm just very happy to have this cleared up?

Yeah? Okay,then.

It's fun to have a blog.

Missing in action....

One of the weirdest things about being a Mom is that things around me always seem to disappear.

Tonight it's my slipper. Yep, I have one slipper and one cold foot.

This is not making me happy.

It happens all the time, things just disappear in my house and no one can tell me where they are.

The cordless phones are never in their holders, the scissors are NEVER in the kitchen drawer and I never have a pen that works when I need to take a message.

I can't even blame any one particular child for not putting stuff away because they will all just deny any knowledge of the missing object having ever existed in the first place. 

I'm told that when my children leave home I will miss them. 

And I can't help but think that while I might miss them I won't miss my things going missing.

Except of course by the time my kids leave the nest I'll probably be so old I'll be loony as a uh, loon.

And then I'll just be left missing my mind.

Sigh.

I'm making a list...

Well, I've done it.

I've started my Christmas lists.

I've opened up my word processor, typed in everyone's name on a blank page and saved it with the title, Christmas 2012.

And yes, it's password protected.

Actually I've started making my Christmas list later then usual this year. I have no idea why, I've just been busy and then, boom, I realized yesterday that it was just a month until Christmas.

I've asked my kids what they want for Christmas this year and they haven't told me very much.

Actually they've told me a lot it's just that their lists don't contain a lot of things that I am actually going to buy for them.

So, here I am, with an empty page.

Sigh.

It's going to be a long four weeks.

Words to Live by...

I bought this sign last week and hung in my kitchen.

Yeah, I like cookies...

 

I'm losing my marbles....

I have a problem.

Okay, I have several problems, but the one that's bothering me right now is that I keep calling the kids and the animals in my house the wrong names.

I actually keep calling them each other's names. For some reason I can't seem to get the right name attached to the right person or pet.

I know it's only because I'm tired and trying to do too much but, really?

It's getting embarrassing.

For example, just a minute ago, the puppy was whining and I yelled out for her to hush, but I used my daughter's name instead of the puppy's name when I yelled.

My daughter then responded by turning down the volume on the TV which distracted the dog and actually did stop the whining.

Okay, so maybe that one worked out well, but it's still not right.

I'm NOT that old. I should be able to use the names of my family members correctly. I mean I did NAME most of them.

Hmmm.

Maybe my mistake was that I didn't give them all the same name. That would've solved the whole problem.

Bob would work, or maybe Charlie. 

I might just be on to something here...

What'd ya think?