Tired Mama.com

Tired Mama - Year Seventeen.

Last week I spent some time poking around web sites thinking that maybe I should try and find a new blog title and URL.

My kids are older now so technically I should be getting more sleep as I don't have to get up with babies any longer. 

Then, last night? 

At 2 am I was up elbowing my husband because he was snoring so loud.

Then I was up at about 3:30 am because the cat was pawing and crying at my daughter's closed bedroom door. 

At 4 am the puppy fell off my other daughter's bed where she had been sleeping and boy, did she cry - both the puppy and my younger daughter. *

Finally, my son's alarm was set wrong so it went off at 5 am.

So, just in case you're interested,

Tired Mama? 

It looks like she's going to be here for a while yet.

Sigh.

* The puppy was fine, just freaked out.

Letting go

I was talking with a friend this weekend and I mentioned that my oldest daughter had applied to a junior college for the fall.

We talked about the financial costs, where she would live and how it would all work.

I talked about how I thought she was ready and how she was excited about the idea.

And then my friend stopped my babbling, took my hand, looked me in the eye and asked me,

'Yes, and how are you REALLY with this?'

How am I with my baby leaving home a year earlier than planned?

I'm uh, honestly?

Thrilled for her, frightened for her, sad for me, excited for her, mad at how fast time has flown and even slightly jealous.

Basically? I have no idea how I am. So far, I've just been focused on her.

But, my daughter is thinking about leaving home.

LEAVING me.

How am I with this?

I'll get back to you on that. 

Right after I take a valium.

Followed perhaps by a red wine chaser...

Sigh.

She can see things I can't..

My youngest daughter is taking some music exams in the spring and so I've been bugging her to get on with her practicing this week.

As I cleaned up the kitchen tonight I listened to her go through her music, she played well but she played quickly and she played music that I had heard often.

'Lizzie,' I called. 'Is that what you're supposed to be practicing?'

'Yep,' she replied.

'Are you sure? Bring me your teacher's notes,' I demanded.

As I read through the list with her I pointed out that nothing she had played was on the list of things to practice.

'Yes, it is,' she insisted.

'Where?' I asked giving her the book and a scowl.

'Right there,' she said, pointing at the blank part at the bottom of the page.

'Right there, written in invisible ink.'

Oh.

Right.

Silly me.

And yeah, she really does know how to turn my scowls around.

TGIF

My teenagers think they have me all figured out. 

You know what I think?

I think horrible teen attitudes have nothing to do with hormones.

I think teens just figure that if they are rotten enough to us that we'll let them stay out late at night just so we can have some peace and quiet.

What they've forgotten however is that they still need us to pick them up from where ever they are hanging out.

And teens? I need my sleep more then I need peace.  

So, pester away, cause the curfew?

It's still there.

 

Just killing time...

This morning I went to buy a cup of tea at a local coffee shop while my daughter was at her music lesson.

Although I don't go to this particular coffee shop every Saturday morning, I do go there often enough that I recognize the people working behind the counter. This morning, in my standard polite Canadian way, I asked the gentleman who was serving me how he was.

'Just killing time until I die,' he replied.

 Ouch.

He did grin at me after he said it, which led me to believe he was just looking for a reaction, but, really?

I mean, REALLY?

I guess in reality that's what we're all doing, but thanks for the cheery words at 9 am on a lovely sunny Saturday morning.

So uh, kids? Just so you know, Eeyore is working at the corner coffee shop in the north west end of my town. Or maybe he's that kid from Charlie Brown who walks around with a rain cloud over his head.

Either way, I think I'll go to a different place to get my tea next Saturday morning.

We all scream for...

 

 

Sometimes I yell the stupidest things...

This past weekend we were puppy sitting. 

It all went well, our ten month old puppy, Sadie got along very well with my niece's six month old puppy. They played, they ran, they ate, and they did all sorts of puppy things together.

Now Dex, my niece's dog is still young and so about 3 am this morning he was crying in his crate that he needed to go outside.

So, I stumbled out of bed and took both puppies outside for a pee.

But while they were both outside, doing their uh, business, Dex started to bark at the light snow that was falling.

In my tired state, I decided it would be a good idea to yell at him to pipe down before he woke up the neighbours.

Except, my tongue got tied, and I started to yell out my dog's name by habit and then, being somewhat awake, I realized half way through that I was calling the wrong dog and changed the name.

So yes, at 3 am on Sunday morning, I was out, in my PJ's, in the snow, standing on my back deck yelling, so all the neighbours could hear...

The S from Sadie and the EX from Dex.

I yelled it several times too.

Lovely.

I wonder what they thought I was doing - celebrating it or searching for some?

Sigh.

What's in a name?

When my daughter entered sixth grade last September, she started at a brand new school. It's been a great success, she likes it, she's making friends, she's doing well. It's all good.

When she started at this new school however, she changed her name.

It was nothing too drastic, let's say her name is Elizabeth*, well at the new school she asked everyone to call her Lizzie.

Lizzie. My sweet little Elizabeth is now a Lizzie.

In fairness, she did ask if it was okay with me before she did it, and I told her I was fine with it, but I would continue to call her Elizabeth. But, I assured her, if she wanted all her friends to call her Lizzie, that was okay.

So, now at school, she signs all her papers, Lizzie. Her friends and even her teachers call her, Lizzie.

When we had parent-teacher interviews, all the paperwork was made out in her given name. The teachers referred to her as Lizzie however until I started referring to her as Elizabeth. They then paused for half a beat, and started to refer to her as Elizabeth too for the remainder of the conference.

When her new friends call the house and ask to speak with Lizzie, I pause for half a beat and then call Elizabeth to the phone.

But it's a little unsettling for me. My little girl was Elizabeth Anne since I first felt her roll in my tummy, and it's tough for me to think of her by any other name.

But I will, because it's really no big deal. The name is cute and really, I suppose, it's hers to pick. 

My baby is growing up.

 

* Yep, she's not really an Elizabeth, but if it's okay with you, I'll just keep her real name to myself and out of the blog world for a little longer. :)

Been there, done that.

I drive a mini-van. Actually, I'm on my THIRD mini-van over the past seventeen years.

I know it's not cool, but with three kids, a cat, a dog and the hut-in-the-woods we visit regularly, it's been a great family vehicle.

My only problem with it is that it's just rather ah, Momish. 

Now that my current van is getting long in the tooth, my hubby and I have started talking and budgeting for what we should be buying next.

Personally? I'd like something small, something like a CAR.

My hubby however likes having the van around as the mini-van does haul everyone and everything where we need to go, it gets great mileage and it's kind to the environment - or as kind as a car that carries eight around can be.

I get it but I still would like a CAR. I'm feeling like I've done enough Mommy-mobile years. I think it's time for me to be 'cooler' or maybe just slightly less Momish.

So, hubby? How about I get a new car and if you still think we need a van, you can trade in your truck and drive the mommy van around for the next seven years?

Fair is fair....

It's done...

Christmas is finished.

The presents are all unwrapped and all the family commitments are done.

Wow.

Now comes all the exchanges, pack-ups and recycling chores.

And with all this cleaning up also comes a week and a half of the kids being home from school.

And, you know what that means?

Soon they are going to start telling me they're bored.

Yep, and once they start complaining about being bored they will start bickering with each other and then they will all be coming to me to negotiate their fights.

And once they get tired of picking on each other then they will start to demand that I dream up ways to keep them entertained.

You know, the holidays aren't what they used to be. Do you remember the before-kid-days of holiday bliss made up of lying in bed late, reading newspapers with coffee and then putting together leisurely lunches before an afternoon nap?

No?

Well honestly, I don't really remember them either. But doesn't it sound lovely? 

How many days until school starts again?

Tired. I'm just tired.

I am tired.

Every part of me just wants to be left alone so I can turn into jelly.

Yep, jelly.

I have no desire to do anything.

Breathing right now seems energetic.

Going up the stairs to take a nap seems like too much effort.

I have no idea why.

Well, actually I do.

It's called Christmas.

It's because of the decorating, card writing, wrapping, giving, toasting, visiting, cooking, roasting, baking, shopping, returning, welcoming and uh, the hundred more holiday things I did.

It was all very nice, but it just exhausted me.

Now, I'm tired and I just want to be quiet and left alone to recharge for a bit.

But with all three kids and the hubby off for the next week? That's probably just not going to happen.

Sigh.

My list for today...

Picked up one daughter from a sleep-over that left her teary and over tired - Check.

Decorated one sliver and blue Christmas tree - Check.

Watched my son and husband play 'keep it up' with the soccer ball in the backyard for thirty seconds - Check.

Got ready and almost out the door to a piano recital - Half a Check.

Helped husband into the van and drove him to the ER after injuring himself playing 'keep it up' - Check.

Spent four hours in the ER - Check.

Missed the piano recital - Check.

Bought a shiny new pair of crutches for hubby - Check.

Comforted one overly sensitive daughter, who was frightened by her Dad's hospital visit and pain - Check.

Heated one frozen pizza for dinner - Check.

Proof read and commented on two high school essays due tomorrow - Check.

House tidied? - No Check.

Laundry done? - No Check.

Dishes done? - No Check.

Christmas crap still spread all over the house? - Check.

Tired? - Double Check.

Sigh.

Meh. It's Christmas.

I tried to set aside some time over the last few days to get the Christmas stuff strewn around the house.

I haven't done it though, for some reason I just haven't felt like it.

I did a little, but I should probably do more, but meh....

You know that feeling?

Meh?

I'm going to go into my daughter's elementary school tomorrow and help wrap for the Christmas bake sale that's scheduled for this weekend. Maybe that'll help get me in the holiday mood.

If that doesn't work I think I'll go and buy some egg nog.

Because with egg nog? There's rum.

And if rum and egg nog can't get one in the mood for the season, then nothing's gonna work.

Happy holiday preparation, everyone....

 

It's all going to pot...

This is the time of the year when I usually change the background of this blog to a Christmas theme.

I'm going to leave my blog's fall theme up for a few more days however because I need to clear something up. You see I got a lovely e-mail yesterday from a reader who asked me if I realized I had pot leaves all over my web page.

Yep, someone out there thinks I've got marijuana leaves in my side bars.

Now, since I'm not a real weed expert, I did what any Mom in my situation would do.

I called my teen.

She, and all her friends, came to my rescue and reassured me that I have Japanese Maple leaves on my page and not marijuana leaves.

I'm very happy to have this cleared up - I don't want to be known as PotMama.

And look, here's a picture comparison too. And now that I've actually seen what a pot leaf looks like, I totally get the confusion.

Ahem.

And no, I don't want to know why my oldest daughter and her friends are so certain about this.

Did I mention that I'm just very happy to have this cleared up?

Yeah? Okay,then.

It's fun to have a blog.

Missing in action....

One of the weirdest things about being a Mom is that things around me always seem to disappear.

Tonight it's my slipper. Yep, I have one slipper and one cold foot.

This is not making me happy.

It happens all the time, things just disappear in my house and no one can tell me where they are.

The cordless phones are never in their holders, the scissors are NEVER in the kitchen drawer and I never have a pen that works when I need to take a message.

I can't even blame any one particular child for not putting stuff away because they will all just deny any knowledge of the missing object having ever existed in the first place. 

I'm told that when my children leave home I will miss them. 

And I can't help but think that while I might miss them I won't miss my things going missing.

Except of course by the time my kids leave the nest I'll probably be so old I'll be loony as a uh, loon.

And then I'll just be left missing my mind.

Sigh.

Words to Live by...

I bought this sign last week and hung in my kitchen.

Yeah, I like cookies...

 

I'm losing my marbles....

I have a problem.

Okay, I have several problems, but the one that's bothering me right now is that I keep calling the kids and the animals in my house the wrong names.

I actually keep calling them each other's names. For some reason I can't seem to get the right name attached to the right person or pet.

I know it's only because I'm tired and trying to do too much but, really?

It's getting embarrassing.

For example, just a minute ago, the puppy was whining and I yelled out for her to hush, but I used my daughter's name instead of the puppy's name when I yelled.

My daughter then responded by turning down the volume on the TV which distracted the dog and actually did stop the whining.

Okay, so maybe that one worked out well, but it's still not right.

I'm NOT that old. I should be able to use the names of my family members correctly. I mean I did NAME most of them.

Hmmm.

Maybe my mistake was that I didn't give them all the same name. That would've solved the whole problem.

Bob would work, or maybe Charlie. 

I might just be on to something here...

What'd ya think?

Now that I think about it...

We moved the clocks back an hour this weekend. 

This moving the clocks back means that I got to sleep in an extra hour this morning and that is good.

It also means however that I now have to make dinner in the dark, and that's not so good. 

Making dinner in the dark makes me tired.

Actually making beds, working, doing laundry, driving to kids activities, talking, shopping, baking, cleaning, and parenting makes me tired too.

So, the rant about moving the clocks back making me tired, that I was just about to write?

Never mind.

It's just good to be nice...

Tomorrow is Random Acts of Kindness day here in my hometown. A local community group printed up 60,000 kindness cards for the day and the idea is that each card is to be passed on when a random kind act is done in hopes that the person who receives it will do something equally kind and then pass the card on again. 

Now, where I live is pretty nice and I honestly do see people here practicing kind acts most days. I often see people smiling at each other, opening doors and giving to charities.

But you know what? 60,000 cards is a lot of cards.

Which got me wondering. How many people actually live in my town?

The answer I found (thank goodness for web sites) is 165,000.

So, that means roughly every second or third person I know is going to get a card.

Which means that if we all get kind and pass these 60,000 cards around it could potentially be a very busy day in my town tomorrow.

I mean I can see everyone running around passing out the cards and just trying to get rid of one before someone is kind and hands them another.

It could be a kindness passing card frenzy!

My town might just get kindness crazy.

As for me?

I'll be hiding at home.

I'm not up to this kinda pressure.

Sigh.

It's not close enough yet...

I was at the local mall today buying myself jeans.

And while I was there I discovered that there is something that can put me in a worse mood then trying on jeans. 

Okay, something that can even put me in a worse mood then trying on a swimsuit or jeans.

This other thing?

Hearing Christmas music on mall speakers on November 1st.

I mean, come on people, I haven't even got my Halloween decorations put away yet. I need at least a week before I can start thinking about Christmas.

Please.

Grrrrr.

Maybe those kids with ear buds and iPods blasting their own music into their heads are on to something....

 

I make bad decisions when I'm tired...

And then there are the weeks when you're so tired that you don't have the energy to come up with anything interesting to vent or rant about.

Unless of course, writing about how tired you are is considered interesting. 

Let me think about that, get a few hours of sleep and then I'll let you know.

Night all.

You need shoes to get to University, right?

I'm off to take my oldest daughter to the College/University Fair this afternoon.

Yes, my oldest is old enough that we have to start thinking about things like this.

And yes, I am old enough to have a daughter this old. I just don't like to admit it.

Sigh.

I have no idea what we're going to find today or what my child is going to want to look at.

My eldest has no idea what she wants to study at University and she's one of those kids who does well at a few things so she has some choices.

I want to help her, but I want her to make the decision for herself as to what she wants to do and where she wants to go. She needs to decide the future that is going to suit her best and make her happy. I can help, but I can't make the decision.

I think deep down she'd like to follow her passion for art but she knows getting a well-paying job in that field could be a challenge.

She also has great marks in science so we'll look at those programs too.

She's got the marks for medicine and she's also an amazing writer.

So. Where does one start?

Personally, I think we'll start with lunch and part way through the afternoon, if things get too much, we'll skip out of the fair and go and look for some shoes.

Yep, shoes. 

The conference is being held in a part of town that has some nice shoe stores and when the stress of deciding ones future gets too much I think it's always good to distract oneself for a while

And looking at shoes? 

That's a good distraction.

Check out time is 25.

There's a sign for sale at a local gift shop that reads, 

"Check out time is 18".

Hmmm.

Now, my kids are still young and right now I have no interest in them leaving the nest. But I am reading with increasing frequency about 'kids' who are still living at home when they are in their forties.

Forties!

I'm in my forties.

Shoot, I love my parents but we'd probably have killed each other if I was still even thinking about living at home. 

Now I know stuff happens and sometimes people have to move back home, but gesh, these stories are about kids who have NEVER left their parent's place.

So, now I'm worried. My kids have it pretty good here. I do just about everything for them and it's a pretty nice house we live in.

I love my kids and I don't want them to leave home anytime soon.

But um, children? Check out time? Let's say it's 25. Okay?

Too much, too soon.

All of my kid's fall activity information is starting to flood my mailbox and in-box.

It is making me sad.

I am not ready for the summer to end. 

We've had a good summer this year with sunshine, REALLY hot days and little rain.

I've sat on my behind and read a few good books this summer.

I've watched the clouds float by this month and I've stood out at night many times and just looked at the stars.

I've spent a lot of time talking and laughing with my children and hubby these past two months.

I don't want it to end. I don't want to be thrown back into the crazy world of school, work, deadlines and children's activities yet.

I want to stop time.

I don't want my little summer bubble to break just yet. 

So, I'm putting my fingers in my ears, singing la-la-la and refusing to face reality for at least another week.

Who's with me?

Double Whammy

Wham!

That’s the sound that woke me up this morning at about 3 am.

I was alone, up here in the woods, with just the cat and the dog for company so I couldn’t just roll over and nudge hubby. I had to investigate myself.

So, I dragged myself from bed.

The dog was sound asleep. So much for being my guard dog – she obviously heard nothing.

The cat couldn’t be found – another helpful animal.

So, after a quick walk about and after sleepily finding nothing really out of place I decided my silver feline must have knocked something off a shelf and was now in hiding so I took my groggy self back to bed.

This morning I went to open the sliding glass patio doors and one pane looked like this:

Yes, it's beautiful but it’s also going to fall all over my walkway and so it's now something I've added to the ‘needs to be fixed list’.

Yeah, that list.

That long long looooong list.

Sigh.

Tired Mama, again

Sadie is FINALLY sleeping through the night.

I suppose I was told before we got our puppy that it would take a while for her to get used to sleeping alone but I still wasn’t ready for this cute bundle of fluff to check in every morning at 4 am with us, just to make sure we were still here and hadn't uh, abandoned her or something.

Every single night.

For WEEKS.

Personally? I like to sleep at 4 am.

And now? Sadie likes to sleep at 4 am too.

This is a good thing.

A VERY good thing.

Enjoy your eight hours, everyone.

Something important is missing...

The stewardesses and pilots are all having a nice visit at the check-in counter.

The luggage is patiently packed in its little truck waiting to be loaded.

The passengers are all sleeping waiting in the comfy chairs in the pre-loading area.

But as I look out onto the tarmac, this is all I see.

I guess I’m not going home for a while yet.

Sigh.

 

It's Spring!

The sun is out.

The spring weather is finally starting to feel warm and I need to uh, finish some work and go grocery shopping today.

But today, the writing is just not going well and I don't feel like going into a grocery store - it's cold and dark in there.

So, instead, I've opened windows, I've played with the cat, I've emptied half the dishwasher and I've texted and e-mailed several friends.

I've been on Facebook for a while and I've thrown out some mail today too. I’ve made my bed and I've wandered around my house and thought about the fact that I don't feel like sitting down and doing my work.

In other words, I've accomplished nothing today.

And I've decided to blame the warm weather.

Because I don't want to be working and doing chores, I want to be outside playing in my garden or just reading a book in the sun.

But I won't go and let myself just do those things because I'm supposed to be working and getting groceries.

So, instead of just getting the work done and letting myself get out there I am sulking and accomplishing nothing.

Today?

I have become one of my children.

Sigh.

 

Where have you been?

Yes, I know I haven't been around much. I've been here (p. 96) and uh, here too.

And when I haven't been writing I've been trying to stay on top of all the other stuff that comes with parenting three active kids.

So, things have been busy and the more I've been writing the more I'm finding that things at the house have been falling a little off the tracks.

Yes, the place is a mess. 

So, today in the interest of getting things back on track I made a list of what I need to get done.

My list is long.

I am now sorta tired and a little depressed too.

But the sun is out so I have decided to ignore my list and go outside and dig in my garden for a while.

And just to make this whole digging thing legit I'm going to put gardening on the list.

And while I'm at it, I think I'm going to put, 'sit in the sun and drink some wine' on my list too.

Good thinking, right?

Clink. :)

Yes, I will vote. I just don't know for who...

We're voting here in few weeks in a federal election.

I take my responsibility to vote seriously. I will vote.

I'm just not sure who I'm going to vote for.

I like all of the candidates running in my area, they all seem like fairly good representatives of my little area of the world.

I have tried reading through all the parties platforms to see if anything in them resonates with me, if anything creates strong feelings of what I want to see done in this great country of mine.

I got - nothing.

They all have ideas I agree with and they have all done things or suggest they're going to do things that I think are stupid.

Sad, that.

I am blessed that I have this responsibility to vote. I know what is happening in other parts of the world and I know all about the women who fought to give me this right.

So, in between everything else I have to do in the next few weeks, I will have to read some more, talk to some more people and watch a few more news programs. I will do my best to try and differentiate between the two main parties vying to win my trust.

And then I will uh, vote.

And hopefully I'll do it without a coin toss before I enter the booth.

Sigh.