Tired Mama.com

Soul Mates? Nah.

I've seen a lot of advertising for Valentine's Day that talks about spending this special day with one's soul mate.

I love my husband. He's a great person, we've been together for twenty-four years and we've been married for almost nineteen years.

My husband and I don't refer to each other as soul mates though, we call each other, 'cellmates'.

Yep, the hubby and I are in this for the long haul, these kids, this mortgage, these car payments - it's a life sentence. 

Besides, what the heck is a soul mate anyway? Isn't that someone we're supposed to be spending our lives looking for and NEVER finding?

My cellmate? He's here day in and day out, helping with kids, making meals, paying bills and emptying the dishwasher. 

I'll take my cellmate over some lost soul mate any day. 

So, Happy Valentine's Day, TiredPapa

I love you.

And thanks for um, doing time with me.

Yeah, it's like that...

On Sunday afternoon, my husband came downstairs from his office where he'd been all morning working on income tax stuff. 

'I need a break,' he told me while rubbing his neck.

'Okay,' I acknowledged from behind my laptop.

Moments later he reappeared in front of me.

'I want to check the score on the football game,' he announced.

I waited.

'Youngest daughter and her friends are watching a movie in the family room and our son and his friends are playing a video game downstairs,' he said.

I looked up at him and tried to be helpful.

'Costco was clearing out TVs when I was there yesterday.' I said.

He just huffed away.

It's hard to be the king when the kids take control of the remotes - and just about everything else.

Sigh.

 

Been there, done that.

I drive a mini-van. Actually, I'm on my THIRD mini-van over the past seventeen years.

I know it's not cool, but with three kids, a cat, a dog and the hut-in-the-woods we visit regularly, it's been a great family vehicle.

My only problem with it is that it's just rather ah, Momish. 

Now that my current van is getting long in the tooth, my hubby and I have started talking and budgeting for what we should be buying next.

Personally? I'd like something small, something like a CAR.

My hubby however likes having the van around as the mini-van does haul everyone and everything where we need to go, it gets great mileage and it's kind to the environment - or as kind as a car that carries eight around can be.

I get it but I still would like a CAR. I'm feeling like I've done enough Mommy-mobile years. I think it's time for me to be 'cooler' or maybe just slightly less Momish.

So, hubby? How about I get a new car and if you still think we need a van, you can trade in your truck and drive the mommy van around for the next seven years?

Fair is fair....

Materialistic Mess

My hubby just finished dragging three large bins of cardboard recycling to the end of our driveway for pick-up tomorrow.

It is a good job to have done, and my less cluttered garage thanks him.

But there it is, outside my office window - the waste of Christmas.

And, while I love the gifts I received, and I love the family time we had together, those big bins of cardboard seem like such a waste. 

It just doesn't seem like we really needed all the stuff that cardboard once housed.

It just seems like too much uh, excessiveness.

I'm glad it's getting recycled but we still need to cut back.

And that, going into 2012, is my new year's resolution.

To use less and do more with what we have.

I have no idea what I'm going to do exactly, but I've got an entire year to figure it out. 

Are you making a resolution?

My list for today...

Picked up one daughter from a sleep-over that left her teary and over tired - Check.

Decorated one sliver and blue Christmas tree - Check.

Watched my son and husband play 'keep it up' with the soccer ball in the backyard for thirty seconds - Check.

Got ready and almost out the door to a piano recital - Half a Check.

Helped husband into the van and drove him to the ER after injuring himself playing 'keep it up' - Check.

Spent four hours in the ER - Check.

Missed the piano recital - Check.

Bought a shiny new pair of crutches for hubby - Check.

Comforted one overly sensitive daughter, who was frightened by her Dad's hospital visit and pain - Check.

Heated one frozen pizza for dinner - Check.

Proof read and commented on two high school essays due tomorrow - Check.

House tidied? - No Check.

Laundry done? - No Check.

Dishes done? - No Check.

Christmas crap still spread all over the house? - Check.

Tired? - Double Check.

Sigh.

How tired am I? Let me tell ya.

My hubby's family came up to our lake place this weekend.

All 21 of them.

They range in age from 1 to 64.

We had a great time.

I just didn't sleep. The twenty and thirty somethings stayed up until 4 am.

The 1 year olds got up at 6:30 am.

I am so tired, I can't even type.

When I get really tired my fingers get tired too.

Who knew?

Sigh.

Night all.

 

Rain, rain, go away...

Because we planned to spend lots of time at the cottage this summer I told my kids we were limiting the days they were spending at camp.

I also told them that they had to think long and hard about how badly they wanted to play summer sports because I didn't want to be stuck driving back and forth all summer long from the lake to the city for baseball, soccer or whatever else they wanted to participate in.

So, we are indeed spending time at the lake this summer.

A lot of time.

And today?

Today it's raining.

And all this together time?

Yeah, it's um, a challenge.

But my three kids? They are actually being great - they are playing board games, reading, playing with the puppy, drawing, playing cards together and generally getting along.

It's lovely.

Then however there's my fourth child. Yes, that's the one that is five years older than I am.

I tell you, if I hear one more complaint out of him about how cottages are better in the sun, I will be filing for divorce. Seriously, the man needs a hobby that doesn't include golf clubs or a boat.

Hubby? Have a nap. 

Trust me you need it. 

And I thought toddlers got really cranky.

Sesh.

 

Ooo, you make me live

I have just decided that I am going to learn all the words to Queen's 'You're my best friend' and when I see my husband again, which I think, because of our crazy schedules, will be a week this Thursday, I am going to sing it to him.

Why?

No idea. It just seems like a good idea.

And probably because I miss him.

Saturday Night is still Date Night

This Saturday night my girlfriend is doing a book reading. Saturday night is also the night that our hometown hockey team is once again playing for a spot in the play-offs.

My hubby really likes hockey. Really, really likes it.

The book reading is a couple's affair with dinner.

I told my husband this and there was a pause on the phone and then he said,

"Do I really want to go? No, I don't. But if you really want me to I will, because that is just what we do.'

And that my friends, just reaffirms the fact that I married a very good man.

One-on-one time

My kids are off of school this week for their spring break.

Yes, all three are home together and we have nothing planned. This is the first time EVER that we've had a spring break and not gone somewhere.

Weird.

Surprisingly enough there's been no real fights or problems. They must be getting old. Older. Old enough? Old something.

Anyway, tomorrow we're going to drag them all out TOGETHER for some family time but over the last few days I've managed to carve out some one-on-one time with each child - just each one and me.

It's been nice, we've talked, we've shopped, and we've fixed some stuff. I've had multiple uninterrupted hours with just one child at a time. I've managed to do it with all three.

Points for Mom/Me!

Then tonight? Hubby was home and I suggested we take in a late movie. Since I had time with the kids I thought he and I should share some one-on-one time too.

He agreed, but later when I suggested we get going to the show, he informed me he wanted to watch the end of the hockey game instead.

Hockey.

Sigh.

So, I sat down with him and watched the game too. Just me, him, our son and uh, forty guys on the TV with helmets and sticks.

Romantic? Uh, no. One-on-one time with hubby? Uh, not really.

But I'm giving myself points for effort and for knowing that you can't fight a guy when his team is in a playoff run. 

Besides, we still have four days left of spring break....

My heart is happy.

My husband sent me a copy of some test results he got back. They said:

'The results of your Coronary artery calcium report test imply that your heart is receiving adequate blood and oxygen supply and no evidence of Coronary Artery Disease.'

Now that is good news. But since I have no idea what an artery calcium report test is, I decided to look it up.

I learned that coronary artery calcium is a significant predictor of future cardiac events.

Now, I don't want any future cardiac events for Tired Papa, so really? Learning that his heart is healthy made my heart uh, happy.

If you want a copy of the book that I referenced, 'Saving Women's Hearts' so you too can learn how to prevent and reverse heart disease just comment below and tell me why you'd love to read it.

For every comment you leave I'll enter your name into my random draw for a copy of this fascinating book. You can also comment here or here too. I'll enter your name into the draw once for every comment you leave on each post.

The contest closes tonight, March 9th at midnight. Good Luck!

May all your dreams come true.*

'I have two dreams,' my youngest informed me as we drove home from school today.

'Really? What are those?' I inquired.

'Why do you want to know?' she asked suddenly suspicious.

'Well,' I said. 'As your mother I'd like to help make all your dreams come true if I can. I kinda see that as part of my job.'

My daughter thought about this for a bit and then proceeded to tell me what her two dreams are. 

Now, I won't tell you exactly what she said, but I will tell you that I now have to have a long talk with hubby about getting a puppy.

Yep - a dog.

Because I honestly do think it's part of my job to help make my daughter's dreams come true.

And, my youngest?

She knows exactly how to play me to get what she wants. 

Sigh.

 

*Alternate titles considered for this post were: 'Just Shoot Me' and 'Sucker Mama'.

Carry on

I've hit my Christmas slump.

I've got lots of things done, but I still have more to do.

I just don't want to do it all.

I'm hoping tonight's elementary school Christmas concert will get me back in the mood.

Sigh.

At lunch today, Tired-Papa called and asked me what I was doing on my lunch hour. 

'Shopping,' I replied.

He paused, and I knew that he was thinking about our Visa statement.

'Are we almost done?' he asked.

'We need toilet paper, milk and a green vegetable for dinner,' I replied.

And that, my friends, in a nutshell is the problem with Christmas - everyday life stuff still needs to happen too.

Somebody send me some cheer, will ya?

Out with the trashy

In his home office in-tray Tired Papa usually keeps the bills that need to be paid and any pending family correspondence. Tonight? There's a Barbie doll in there too.

You see tonight my youngest daughter is off at a camp with her school. So while she's away I decided to clean her room and throw out some of the crap  garbage stuff she was stock-piling. At the bottom of her closet I found a broken Barbie doll. 

But this broken Barbie doll wasn't pouting, she was smiling. And this Barbie doll had hardly any make-up painted on her little plastic face, her hair was brushed back in a smooth pony-tail and she was even dressed in something I might actually let a child of mine leave the house wearing.

Wonder of wonders - I found a Barbie doll that doesn't look like a hooker.

So, since my fingers were not strong enough to push the different parts of this doll back into place I gently put her, and her assorted parts, into my hubby's in-basket for him to fix. I think all this doll needs is some major limb realignment and then she'll be as good as new.

As for all the Bratz and other trashy dolls I found? They went into the garbage.

Probably tomorrow night Tired Papa will yell down the stairs to ask me why there's a dismembered doll in his in-basket. I will then yell back ask him to put her back together so that she can be played with.

And he will because he's good with this kinda thing.

And this will make me happy because there's got to be some reward in this world for being wholesome.

Right?

E-mail from a ten year old.

When the new school year starts in a few weeks my youngest will be going into grade five which is when her school starts giving out school e-mail accounts.

I decided today it would be a good idea to talk with her a little about what was appropriate to send out in an e-mail and how it was done before the school did.

I also wanted her to muck around with it a bit before she started sending things to her friends so I set her up with a home e-mail account and I gave her my e-mail address and her father's e-mail address to practice with.

Tonight I got my first e-mail from her. Here is what it said:

Dear Leanne and **her Dad's name**,

We of the **our surname** kids* would like to inform you that you have not yet gotten us a dog.

I think it is very important that you get us a dog because it would teach us responsibility.

Now I believe that Dad would say " You have stuffed animal dogs!" as for Leanne, she would say, "convince your father!"

So Dad, a stuffed animal dog isn't REAL. As for Leanne, I hope this letter convinces Dad to get a dog.

Thank you for your time and patience and have a good day.

*ME
Sincerely,

**Youngest daughter's full name**, daughter.

I think she's got it figured out.

Now I'm just waiting for her Dad's reply. I'll let you know how that works out.

It's not that type of limb!

We spent the last two weeks up at the cottage.

Yes, it was very nice. Thank you for asking.

Our cottage is on a lake and it has trees right up to the sides of the cottage which means we have many many many branches and twigs lying around the property.

So, part way through the first week of our vacation I decided that my son, hubby and I should get busy and cut up some of these branches for firewood.

Yep, I was on a clean up mission.

And yep, two hours later we were on our way to the ER so my son could get four stitches put in his hand.

The new saw I bought to cut up all these branches into firewood?

It's um, sharp.

And yeah, he's fine but he's not using that saw again anytime soon. 

Anyone know how much a bag of firewood costs?

Sigh.

Big sigh.

Another wild and crazy Friday night..

As I was sitting out tonight looking at the stars, my husband made me a cup of tea and my son got me a blanket because I told them I was cold.

Yes, I have good men in my life.

But I can't help but reflect that twenty years ago on a Friday night I wouldn't have been sitting around looking at stars and sipping tea.

But that's what I did tonight. And maybe I should have been out looking for a party but, honestly? I was completely content with my men and my tea.

And yep, I know this means I am getting old.

Sigh. 

Anyone know where the time goes?

It's all good

Tired Papa and I have been married for seventeen years tomorrow.

Seventeen years.

That's a long time. 

As my youngest daughter and I were driving to dance tonight she told me that her Dad and I should do something special for our anniversary.

'Like what?' I asked.

'Like go downtown and go out for a romantic dinner,' she replied.

I reminded her that on our anniversary her father and I would be running between her two dance recitals and her brother's baseball tournament. I don't think we'll even have time to have a burger together tomorrow, never mind a whole romantic meal.

'That's bad,' she said. 

But you know what? I'm not so sure it is. 

If you had told me seventeen years ago that I would be spending my anniversary today still happily married to the same guy and that I'd be spending the day enjoying activities with our beautiful healthy children, I think I would have been okay with that.

I'm still okay with that.

Happy Anniversary Hun.

Oh, but can I get a rain check on the whole romantic dinner idea? That sounds kinda nice too.

Hello? Are you even listening? Wait, don't answer that.

Most mornings Tired Papa drops our teen off at high school. They both have early start times and, since he goes right by her school on the way to his office, it works out well. My teen is not a morning person and I don't think she would ever get to school on time any other way.

This morning, as I was in the kitchen making breakfast, Tired Papa was there waiting for the teen to finish getting ready for school and he asked me what I had planned for the day.

So, I told him about our youngest daughter's dance recital rehearsal happening tonight, about our son's baseball game and about our teen's swimming lesson. All these activities are scheduled to start at the same time so I even fussed a little about how I was going to get all three kids fed and where they needed to be at the right time.

I then told him about the volunteer work I had to do today, that I had to get on-line and pick my courses for next term and I detailed for him the multiple furniture purchases I am in the middle of making for our cottage.

I told him the guy installing our fence and the HVac contractors were meeting with me today during the lunch hour.

I fascinated him with the problem I was having with one of the teachers at the kid's school and then I reminded him about how busy the weekend was going to be with a baseball tournament and a dance recital both happening along with a scheduled Sunday trip to go up north.

I then told my husband about a friend of ours who was worried about a health concern and then I think I even showed him our daughter's history test that I had to sign. I also reminded him that our son starts his school exams this week and that he might need his Dad's help with some math review.

Then I stopped chatting long enough to ask him a question. 

He just blinked at me.

Then -

'What was all that, honey? I'm sorry, but I was thinking about something else,' he replied.

Oy.

Tired Papa and I have been together for over twenty years.

I know him. I know better.

'I was just saying that I need you to leave work on time today so that you can be at our son's baseball game for six tonight,' I answered.

'I can do that,' he replied, and then he kissed me and happily left to find our teen so they could be on their way. 

And this, my friends?

This is why I have girl-friends.

Because from time to time? I just want someone to listen to me.

Sigh.

I do. I did. I would again. But still....

I was looking at my relationship status box today on Facebook and realized that it says that I'm married.

This of course should not shock me because I am married.

I've been married for a while too - seventeen years in fact. 

I'm married and I'm happily married, but I'm uh, still married.

The problem?

It sounds so permanent and uh, oldish. 

I still don't think of myself as married. I mean, I was there, I said the vows, we were in a church and everything but deep down I still think of myself as being about nineteen. 

Seriously, I'm too young to be married and have kids. I don't care what my birth certificate says.

Hmmmm.

Does this mean I'm having a mid-life crisis?

Cool. I've always wanted a little red sports car.

And Tired Papa? You can come for a ride in it too. You'll just have to pretend you're my boy-friend instead of my husband for a few hours.

That should work.

Oh, and does anyone know how to delete that pesky Facebook relationship status box? It's just annoying. 

Hockey Nights in Canada

Over the Christmas holidays Tired Papa and our son built themselves a hockey rink in our backyard.

It's nice. They built boards and put a heater in the pool house to work as a little warm change room and they even put up nets to stop all the pucks from breaking my kitchen windows.

My hubby and our boy go out there when it's dark and cold and they shovel, sweep and flood their rink.

The kids of the neighborhood and my younger children have been using the rink a lot. It's great exercise for everyone and they all have a great time outside.

Me? I've been making a lot of hot chocolate and popcorn this winter.

Do you know what I like most about the ice rink though?

I like looking out my kitchen window and watching my two boys working on the rink and then playing hockey together.

They're not just making an ice rink, they are creating memories. Memories of a father and son working together, creating something together. 

It's good.

Really, really good.

And all the dead grass I'm gonna have back there in the spring?

Totally worth it.

He's just nice.

Last week I had to take my darling daughter shopping for an outfit to wear to a family wedding.

Since my eldest daughter doesn't like to shop, I knew the trip was going to be difficult - and yes, that's an understatement.

When I came out of the mall after a stressful few hours I was surprised to find that my van had been moved in the parking lot. Yep, it had been moved three spots away.

No, I was not losing my mind.

My van was also clean and full of gas.

The note inside said this was a gift from my secret admirer.

Yep, while I was inside the mall Tired-Papa had driven there, picked up our van, filled it with gas, washed it and returned it to the lot.

Personally? I think it's the sweetest thing ever.

Some ladies that I know? Told me that he must be feeling guilty about something or having an affair.

Ah no, he's not. He was being NICE.

And he is nice - very nice. And that is just one of the many reasons why I love Tired-Papa so much.

Thanks, hon.

Ain't love grand?

So, if your husband came to you at about 9 pm and told you that you looked really tired and you should turn off your computer and go to bed, would you be glad that he noticed or would you wonder why your husband, your supposed sweetheart, was telling you that you looked like CRAP?

Yeah. That's what I'm thinking too.

I'm off to put on my jammie's.

Night all.

Innocent

Did you know that if your nine year old announces to a group of your girlfriends that she saw her Mom and Dad in the pool in an 'inappropriate position', no matter how hard you protest that NOTHING was going on and NOTHING you were doing was inappropriate, no one will believe you?

Sigh.

Yeah, I finally did stop protesting and just sat and smiled.

But really, why exactly do we teach kids to talk?

Furniture is just too hard to buy

Tired Papa hates furniture shopping and I am indecisive.

For the past eight years we've needed a new kitchen table. We haven't bought one because I can't decide what I want and then when I do decide Tired Papa won't come and look at it so we don't get anything. 

This week however I am determined to buy a new kitchen table.

If Tired Papa won't look at it and then doesn't like it after it's delivered then it's his problem, right? 

I figure it'll go really fast because I won't want to be inside shopping when I can be out in the sunshine.

At least I hope so. This holding my plate on my knee to eat dinner is starting to get me down.

Sigh.

Date Night

I have a date with my husband tonight. Yep, a date.

It's been a long time since we've been out together. We're planning on heading out to dinner and catching a movie.

I don't want to do anything fancy, I just want to hang out with Tired Papa without the kids along. We might even get to talk to one another without distractions too. Wow.

The toughest part will be picking the movie. I like the standard 'chick flicks' while Tired Papa likes the 'car racing, shoot 'em up stuff'.

Dinner should be easy, we both like the local chicken place and the kids don't really like it so we'll go there and enjoy time together with wine, instead of whine.

I'm excited. I could get used to this dating stuff again. I wonder if he'll bring flowers? No?

Okay, do you think he'll open the car door for me then? No?

Hmmm. Okay, well at least he'll probably pay for dinner and the movie and if I'm lucky he might even buy me some popcorn.

Yep, life here is exciting and simple.

And uh, good.

Enjoy your Saturday.

I'm behind. Again.

According to a survey, from a UK website, that was quoted in my local newspaper (http://www.thestar.com/living/article/595998) in order to have a happy marriage I need to make sure that Tired Papa and I cuddle three times per day and kiss four times a day.

Um, I'm not sure we do that but I must admit I'm not really counting either.

Now, I know Tired Papa kisses me good-bye every morning and kisses me randomly there after too.

Cuddling? Well, we're usually too tired from working or shuffling the kids around for that more than once a day.

Okay, so let's say we cuddle once a day and for the sake of argument we kiss twice a day.

We've been married almost sixteen years. So we're supposed to have shared 16 X 365 X 4 kisses and 16 X 365 X 3 cuddles.

That's uh, wait, I need to get a calculator.

Okay, that's 23,360 kisses and 17,520 cuddles.

Jeepers, I think we're behind on about 11,680 kisses and 5,840 cuddles.

I think we need to catch up.

Hey Tired Papa?

Got any plans for the weekend?

The things I learn

Tonight hubby and I were cleaning up the basement.

I was trying to put away the odds and ends of Christmas that just got tossed into storage without being boxed up and Tired Papa was having a go at cleaning up his work bench. Yes, I nagged him into it.

Towards the end of our tidying Tired Papa asked me if I had a jar or something that he could put this workbench pencils and markers in.

Not just any jar though, he wanted a 'manly jar'.

Anyone have any idea what a 'manly jar' is?

I offered up a small wicker basket, but it would not do.

Tired Papa then reached over into the storage shelves and snagged a small flower vase and plunked in the pencils and markers. He was happy and I was just glad the workbench was less of a mess.

Betcha didn't know that flower vases are manly.

Kittens

For some insane reason I let my kids talk me into looking at the 'Adoption Rescue' kittens that are up for adoption at our local pet store today.

The store had eight tiny little balls of fluff up for adoption. These little guys had been dumped in our local Whole Foods dumpster and are now looking for a better home. Yep, some idiot decided to dump SIXTEEN six to seven week old kittens in a dumpster. Thank goodness someone heard their cries and dug them out.

These kittens are now looking for homes and I must say I'm tempted to get our own eighteen month old cat a buddy.

My resolve to have no more pets (right now) gave way yesterday when we found that one of the kittens was a small male silver tabby  - an almost identical match in looks and, as far as I could tell, personality to our own current loveable cat.

This tiny guy was too cute for words and he was crying out that he needed us.

What stopped us?

The kittens had to be adopted in pairs.

Two cats I could maybe convince my hubby to house.

Three?

That would require serious uh, persuading. I might even have to do something like this. (Yes, I've been wondering how to work this story into my family 'E' rated blog for a while now.)

We came home without a kitten.

I love my husband, but honestly? I don't think I'm up for this type of persuasion technique.

At the cottage - Day Two

We rented a boat this week to use while we’re at our rented cottage.

I must admit I always knew that my hubby liked boats, but I didn’t realize the extent of his passion until I saw him this week with his son and a boat.

My two boys have developed an almost unhealthy attachment to our rented little white and blue power boat.

Today they’ve been tubing twice, been water-skiing a dozen times, been cottage 'gawking' on the boat and they even got up at 6:30 this morning to take the boat out fishing.

They have now just announced that they want to go out to dinner, you got it, by boat at the restaurant across the lake. They’re all excited because this particular place has boat docks for its patrons.

Whatever.  It means I don’t have to cook so I’m up for it.

I’m enjoying seeing them so happy but I must admit I’m a little concerned about how they’re going to feel next Monday when the boat needs to be returned to the marina we rented it from.

I think they’ll handle it all right, but I wouldn’t put it past my hubby to try and buy the darn thing.

Boys and their toys.

Sigh.

I kinda get it, but I just gotta say when it comes to having passions - shoes are MUCH cheaper.