Tired Mama.com

Pudgy Faced Mama

I was in a washroom at a public restaurant today and as I was washing my hands I noticed in the mirror that I no longer had eyes.

Yep, someone has stolen my eyes.

I think they're still in my face somewhere but between my lack of sleep and the extra fifteen pounds I've put on, my eyes have shrunken and disappeared into my forehead.

I think I still have eyes, as I can see, but they now look tiny in comparison to the rest of my face.

I used to have bright round sparkly eyes. Now? Not so much.

So, I have decided to eat better, sleep more and get more exercise so I can like the look of my face again and can find my eyes.

Yeah.

I'm also going to stop by the drug store today and buy some mascara and eye liner.

Sigh.

This whole aging thing is a downer, ya know?

Oh, for gosh sake

Dear Stupid Pet,

If you don't like dirty laundry being thrown on top of you, don't sleep in the laundry hamper.

Yes, I actually put laundry in there and yes, I know the kids in the house don't.

But give me a break, I get enough dirty looks from my children, I don't need them from you too.

Thanks,
Tired Mama

 

 

Pick again

My youngest is now nine.

Over the past few months she's started to make some rumblings about the state of her room. It seems she's no longer happy to have pink and purple fairies dancing around in there with a big pink crown as a head board.

My youngest seems to no longer think that she is a princess. Go figure.

So, we've picked out a new bedding set.  This one:

It's cute, bold and tweenish. I think it'll work for a few years.

I also agreed to paint her room. 'What colour do you want it to be?' I asked carelessly.

When she asked for my opinion, I told her to pick a colour from the comforter cover. I suggested pink or purple or green or even yellow.

But what does she want?

Black.

Shiny black, please.

Uh, no.

Sigh.

Henry James and Washington Square

My classes have started up again.

For those of you who haven't been keeping track this is the third year running that I've been taking classes at my local University. Yes, I am insane.

But, I'm only taking two courses this year. I was taking more the past two years but I just found that life kept getting in the way of my courses and so I decided to take less this year and see how that worked out. 

You know what? One course is almost as bad as five. I'm still waaay too busy with kid and house stuff to concentrate on school properly.

I only need three classes to get this degree though and I am going to finish it. Soon. I hope.

So, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and prepare a presentation on Henry James.

I know, you wish you were me, right?

Did I mention I'm insane?

Sigh.

Can I borrow a shovel?

It's Monday morning.

On Monday mornings I spend a fair amount of time tidying up my house. I do it because it allows me to avoid working and because, after the weekend, my house REALLY needs to be dug out from under all the crap that got thrown at it while my kids and hubby were home full time.

This morning's task is going to be to try and find my kitchen table.

I have a new kitchen table arriving in November but I still need to use my current one for dinner tonight. Right now I can't even see it because it is piled full of papers, bags of apples, dishes and goodness knows what else that my beloved family heaped on it over the weekend.

My goal is to get it dug out by dinner time.

I have two large garbage bags and an empty dishwasher so I'm hopeful.

After that I need to clean out my fridge.

No wonder people hate Mondays.

Sigh.

TGIF

It's happening.

The kid's fall activities are starting up again, the school meetings are starting up again and my classes have started again.

I'm not sure but I think I'm behind on some activity and we're only a week and a half into the fall term.

Sigh.

But today is Friday and on Friday nights we have nothing to do and no where to go.

TGIF.

Truly - TGIF.

Signs

I did a couple of things yesterday that I haven't done in a while.

In the morning I went to the local kitchen store and I bought some knives. I know, I know, I'm a party animal.

But, since my kids started helping me in the kitchen oh about, twelve years ago I haven't had any really good quality sharp knives as I never wanted my babies to grab one and hurt themselves. 

But this past weekend, as I was making a total mess of pealing a peach, it occurred to me that my youngest is now nine. I can probably trust them not to slice themselves open on a sharp knife.

Lightbulb!

So, I went out yesterday and bought two Henckels branded knives and you know what? These suckers are sharp.

The second thing I did was I went to Bath and Body Works and bought a few of their scented candles. 

For years if I bought candles my kids would either immediately blow them out, thinking they were birthday cake candles, or they'd stick their finger in them to see what would happen. I've also been known to forget all about a burning candle and leave the house or go to bed with it still lit.

I also can't stand the smell of a dirty diaper layered over with uh, a lavender scent or a green tree smell or some such thing.

Today? Now I have a 'Sweet Cinnamon Pumpkin' smell permeating my house thanks to the pretty new candle I bought yesterday.

I can do these things now. My kids are growing up.

Sigh.

Now, how long do you think it'll take before I cut my finger or burn down my kitchen?

I give myself about two days.

Wow

When pigs fly!

When hell freezes over!

When gosh um, I don't know - but there's got to be more.

What? What?

What, you ask?

Tired Papa and I stayed home today and worked around the house and um, I got all the laundry done.

All. of. it.

Alert the press, Mt. Laundry was conquered for at least six hours today.

Will wonders never cease to amaze.

Breakfast of Champions

So, would you give your kids freshly baked (still warm) frosted brownies for breakfast?

If you're the kinda Mom who thinks this sounds like fun, then yes, of course when my kids asked me if they could have brownies for breakfast I let them eat some from the pan that I had just baked.

If you think this is totally unhealthy and only a horrible Mom would let her kids have brownies for breakfast then tsk-tsk, of course I didn't let them have any, I made them wait until dinner.

Besides, warm frosted brownies? I love brownies. Do you honestly think there'd be any of them LEFT for the kids to eat?

Okay, maybe a few. Very few. 

What can I say? We're pudgy, but we're happy.

Enjoy your Sunday. 

What I added to the fall schedule

I decided a few months ago that I should find some place that needed someone like me to help them get something done.

In other words, I decided to look for a volunteer position in my community so that I could give something back to my uh, world.

I found Ten Thousand Villages.

Why here? Well, I liked their vision:

"One day all artisans in the developing countries will earn a fair wage, be treated with dignity and respect and be able to live a life of quality."

I also liked what I read on their web page...

"Men and women around the world have a simple dream – to earn an honest living, provide a home, food and education for their children, and to be gainfully employed in a job that brings dignity and joy. Ten Thousand Villages partners with thousands of talented artisans in a healthy business relationship.

Often referred to as ‘Fair Trade,' our philosophy of helping to build a sustainable future is based on the principle that trade should have a conscience. Through ‘fair trade,’ artisans receive respect, dignity and hope from working hard and earning fair value for their work."

I've been told that 70% of the people we help are women from developing countries. With the help of Ten Thousand Villages these women can now support their families and give their children a better future.

It's a good thing and it's only four hours a week of my time.

I'm just a tiny cog but hey, it's a start.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world.” -Mahatma Gandhi

Pass the meds

Today my eldest came home from her first day of high school.

She came home happy.

And seeing her smile made me feel like a ton of bricks had just been lifted off my shoulders.

Only eight kids from my daughter's middle school are attending her high school so in her freshman class of four hundred she doesn't know a lot of other kids. 

I was uh, concerned - a little.

But it sounds like everything went okay.

The school she's attending is big and it sounds like she got lost, a lot.

She also told me that she talked to a few new kids and got into a fight with her new locker when it wouldn't open.

I gather her language teacher seems intimidating and the school's drama department is putting on a musical that she thought she might be interested in participating in. 

She also talked about trying out for the school field hockey team.

Overall, it was all good stuff.

Eight hours down and only a zillion to go until she graduates. 

After hearing about her day today, I think she'll be fine.

I, on the other hand, may need wine, or Valium or something even stronger to get through the next four years.

Do you think we'll ever stop worrying about our kids?

Sigh.

Thank goodness

Grab a Mai-Tai and join the conga line....

School starts again tomorrow for my trio.

If it wasn't for the homework, the extra curricular activities that require me to drive all over town and the early mornings I'd be a deliriously happy lady tonight.

As it is? I'm simply happy.

Very happy.

I just keep hitting the delete key.

Can someone please help me tell the places that keep filling my in-box that:

1) I have never, nor will I ever, be interested in playing in an on-line casino.

2) I don't need to buy cheap drugs from Canada. I live here. If I need them I get a prescription.

3) I don't want to lose weight using Acai berries. Unless of course one of you tells me that they really work with no evil side effects, then I might change my mind.

4) I don't need to verify any account information with any financial institution with any personal information anywhere, anytime, anyhow. Nor am I interested in helping you get your money out of your country. I may be slightly crazy but I'm not stupid.

5) Finally, I don't have a penis and I'm not interested in making anything on me larger.

Thanks.

I'm trying hard

Okay, so if you happen to make a mistake and drive right past the window speaker at a drive-through restaurant, what are you supposed to do?

When I did this today at my local Tim Horton's, I got out of my van and walked back the few feet to the speaker and yelled my order into it. I then got back into my van and moved up in the line to the pick-up window.  

There were cars ahead and behind me in the line-up. It was bumper to bumper, I couldn't have backed up without hitting someone.

What else should I have done?

And why did everyone in the line around me find this so darn funny? Yes, people were laughing at me. I think someone was even taking pictures of me with their flippin' cell phone. Wait, that might have been my kid.

Am I on YouTube now?

So, what's the etiquette here anyway?

Someone? Anyone?

Sigh.

It's a big cut in the Back to School budget

I'm doing one of those smallish insane things today. You know the kinda thing, the one that if you heard some other Mom was doing it you'd shake your head and roll your eyes, then probably (hopefully?) forget about it.

Yep, I'm doing one of those.

I'm taking my fourteen year old daughter for a haircut today at one of those over the top expensive hair salon places.

Yep, I am - but let me defend myself.

You see, I went to this expensive salon five weeks ago out of desperation.

My reasonably priced nice hairdresser has left town and my bangs and hair were getting so ratty and long that I couldn't see. I looked pretty bad and worse yet? I was getting grey. So, I took a friend's recommendation and went to this nice swanky salon.

I almost had a heart attack when I went to pay, but my hair looked great so I decided that I was worth it.

Yes, as a matter of fact I can justify just about anything.

And yes, I did hide the receipt from Tired Papa.

Yesterday I had two people comment on my hair - FIVE weeks later. This just doesn't happen EVER, but my hair still looks good, it's easy to take care of and well, it's working for me.

At my age I'll pay a little extra for that.

My daughter? She got a teen cut at the mall a few weeks ago. Now, her hair is gorgeous. It's thick, wavy, naturally highlighted and just plain lovely to look at. Right now with this 'long bang teen thing' going on however it looks less than stellar. It looks heavy and lank and it's hiding her pretty face. It's just not working.

So, I'm paying to get it cut again, by the same stylist who did mine, for her first day of high school.

Sigh. 

I know I may never get her to go back to reasonably priced cuts once I start paying for her to have expensive ones, but school starts in five days and I don't know what else to do.

So, I'm just gonna pull out the credit card and close my eyes to the price. 

Let the eye rolling begin.