Tired Mama.com

Trashy Entrance R Us

The snow is melting and out my window I can now see our lovely browny-yellow coloured lawn.

I also noticed today that our Christmas garland is sitting in a heap beside the front door, up until today it couldn't be seen as it was covered in snow.

The wreath I had hanging on my front door blew away sometime over the last week.

The metal bench that sits on my front porch started to rust this winter too.

So, come on over everyone, because you know nothing says welcome to guests better than dead grass, decaying evergreen ropes and rusty furniture.

Sigh.

I guess I now have a spring project, or two.

Oh, and spring? Please hurry.

Squishing.

I had a fun day today.

I had a mammogram done.

I wasn't worried about anything, it was just time that I had my uh, parts checked out.

I don't know how they do it where you are, but here a mammogram involves a lot of painful squeezing of parts that aren't usually handled roughly.

Sigh.

I can't help but think that if it was men having this done, the whole system would have been changed years ago.

I'm just sayin'.

I want a re-do.

As most of you know my eldest daughter is a teen. My youngest child is now eight years old.

So, why is it that it is only now that I feel like I'm ready to have a baby?

No, I'm not talking about having another child but I now think I'm ready to raise the babies I had. You see, I know stuff now.

I know now that a child will not damage her teeth or her thumb by sucking on it until she's four years old. 

I know now that if I just leave them undiapered long enough children will eventually toilet train themselves.

I know now that I really shouldn't sweat the small stuff. All that weird stuff they do? They outgrow it.

I would love to be hugged around the knees again. I miss that.

Don't get me wrong, I want the same kids I have, but since I now have some experience with infants and toddlers I think it would be more fun for all of us if I could re-do their baby years.

My children trained me well, I just think it's too bad they won't be able to really benefit from it.

Sigh.

Now I've just got to figure out how to raise teenagers. 

Why do I have the feeling that I'm gonna want a re-do in fourteen years for this as well?

Merry Exams

I have to write my Christmas exams this week.

Yep, Christmas.

My University has settled with the striking union, okay, actually they were forced back to work, but this means I now have classes again and so this is my Christmas exam week(s).

The problem? 

I don't feel like studying and I don't feel like doing the required readings any more.

I feel sorta grumpy and oh, tired and ah, over whelmed by it all. 

In other words, I feel about fourteen again.

Sigh.

Please send wine and chocolate.

Thanks.

Hush

I am not a morning person.

My youngest child is a morning person. She wakes up all sunny and singing and just obnoxiously happy.

I still love her in spite of this quirk, but it can be annoying.

Today, on my one day to sleep in, my youngest daughter decided to get up and practice piano.

It was 7 am.

No, it's not as bad as 6 am, but it's still too damn early to be practicing piano on a day when I don't have to get up for anything.

She told me that she didn't think I would mind as I'm always reminding her to practice.

I can't wait until my youngest is a teen like her older sister. My older daughter didn't get up until noon today, and then she was grumpy as all get out.

That one's my child for sure.

The younger one? I'll give her a few more years until I pass final judgment but really, sweetheart? 

Make both our lives more pleasant by letting your Mama sleep in once in a while. Okay?

Thanks.

What made me smile today

As I was waiting for my youngest to finish her dance class today I wandered into a gift shop at the local mall.

There was a sign in there for a baby's room that read,

'Before I had you I never knew how much I could love and how little I could sleep.'

I think that sums up being a new mother quite nicely.

I'll get to it on Saturday. Honest.

The last few days have confirmed what I always knew but didn't wish to admit.

My family are slobs.

I've been out of the house a lot lately so I haven't had time to go around and pick up after everyone at night and you know what?

If I don't do it, no one does.

My family also doesn't empty the dishwasher, carry laundry upstairs or wipe off counters. Actually they will do it, but only if I'm around to yell scream at remind them.

Someone also left the milk out all day today.

If someone dropped by my house right now they would not just think it was messy -it's actually reached the point of disgusting.

I know I shouldn't care, but I do.

Oh, and if you drop by? Please don't open the fridge. I think something has died in there.

Sigh.

Musical Time

My two older children are participating in their school musical tomorrow.

The musical is called 'Honk' and it's basically the story of The Ugly Duckling.

My kids are doing a great job in it and I'm proud of them.

I will also be very glad when it's over.

My eldest daughter has a lead in the musical and has had two practices a week since last fall. She's had numerous weekend practices too.

My son is a part of the chorus and his part, along with hockey, means that he's been running in many directions as well.

Me? I've just been driving everyone everywhere and I'm tired of that.

I'm looking forward to having some time off now, so we can all relax and I can get out of the driver's seat of my van for a few days.

What was that?

Soccer starts in March this year? 

When did we sign up for that?

Oh, last October.

I am insane.

Sigh.

Yep, I'm here

I have to give a presentation in one of my courses tomorrow. I really should be reviewing my notes for it. But, I'm blogging instead.

The laundry needs to be moved over from the washer to the dryer. But, I'm blogging instead.

The dishwasher needs emptying, the kids need help with homework, the van needs cleaning out and I need to get everyone's lunches ready for school tomorrow.

But, I'm blogging instead.

My name is Tired Mama and I'm a blogger.

Sigh.

Anyone know if there's a twelve step program for this?

Bad Mama Alert

The sun is out, the snow is melting and it's a long weekend. Woo Hoo.

I'd like to say it's been relaxing but we planned to do a little too much and that, along with the kid's activities, has left me um, tired, busy and um, tired.

Tomorrow I plan on sleeping in until I wake up.

Am I a bad mother if I threaten my kids so they won't wake me up tomorrow morning?

I'm thinking they'll get a year of lost privileges if they wake me up by fighting, turning on the TV too loud or by just coming into my bedroom to breathe on me.

I'm hoping this will keep them quiet and out of my bedroom.

Am I a bad mother?

Ha. The real question is, if it means a chance to sleep in, do I care?

Happy Valentine's/Family Day!

On Monday we're celebrating a new holiday up here in Ontario, it's being called 'Family Day'.

Family Day.

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do on this day but I think I'm supposed to spend the day with my family. This should be easy because the kids are off school and Tired Papa will have the day off of work.

This is of course very different from tomorrow which is the day I'm supposed to share with my Valentine. That, I guess, is also a family member.

When I mentioned to my human family that we were supposed to spend some time together this weekend Tired Papa told me that he has tax work to do, my son informed me he wanted to head downtown to the car show and my girls just rolled their eyes.

So, I'd like to introduce you to my new family. That would be a pan of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, a dozen red tulips, a bottle of red wine and of course the newest addition to my family, a lovely new pair of black Nine West pumps.

Chocolate, wine, shoes and flowers.

What can I tell you? We will all spend a very nice weekend together, and we will all be very happy. 

Sigh.

I need a dog.

Send the stupid kid to do it

It's warmish here today so I went out for a run. I'm fortunate in that I live close enough to Lake Ontario so that I can run along its shore line.

As I looked out over the lake today however I could see, out in the distance, a few 'thin ice' signs.

Yes, the ice is thin so we do need these signs. 

My question?

Who goes out and puts them up?

Um, I am human you know.

Dear Tired Papa and Tired Children,

Here are a few things you should know. I thought I'd point them out to you because you haven't seemed to clue into them by yourselves.

1. When I am in the middle of screaming at talking to one of you about the horrid state of your bedroom, the rest of you? Don't come in and ask me for something you want while this is happening. Guess what? If you do the answer will most likely be NO.

2. When I am talking to one of you about why you're not studying or doing your homework, the rest of you? Don't come in and ask me where something is. Guess what? I won't care about what you're looking for right then and I probably won't help you find it either.

3. When I am knee deep in Mt Laundry don't whine at me about why I won't buy you another new over priced piece of clothing. Trust me, it's just not going to happen right then.

4. When the cat hasn't been brushed, fed or had its litter box cleaned by you for a week, don't start asking if we can buy another pet. Uh, nooooooo.

Oh, Tired Papa? When I've just finished having a loud discussion with one of your children, at seven o'clock in the morning about their missing school things, don't expect me to turn around and respond all lovely dovey 'cause you want to kiss me good-bye right then. I love you yes, but help me with the kid first, then you might get your kiss instead of a snarl.

I hope this helps clarify a few things.

I love you all.

Taking a breath

It's another Sunday evening and I'm sitting here wondering where the weekend has gone.

It was a great weekend but, between the kid's activities and having friends over Saturday night, the weekend was over before I had a second to just sit down and take a breath.

Over supper tonight TiredPapa and I started talking about the kid's summer break too. Summer will be here before we know it and we need to start thinking about where we want to go and what we want to do.

Summer.

There's a nice thought.

I wonder if the snow will be gone by then.

This is starting to feel like the year of the never ending winter.

I think TiredPapa and I need to have more of these discussions.

Summer. It will come, won't it?

One week ago

Last Friday I looked out my hotel window and saw this.

 

I can't take a picture out my current window to show you in comparison though because it's dark out and because my office window is half buried in snow.

Sigh.

If you don't mind I'm just gonna pretend for a while that if I looked out my window I would see this again.

Yep, denial is good.

Not what I wanted

I bought a personalized car license plate for Tired Papa last fall. It has our family surname on it and now I have people constantly telling me where they see our truck in town.

It's actually quite funny and I tell my husband not to do anything weird as the whole town will let me know.

So, for Christmas Tired Papa thought it would be neat if he got me a car license plate too. Yeah, I think he was getting even.

He wanted to get a plate that said TiredMama on it but he ran into a problem as you can only have 8 letters on license plates here.

So, what did he come up with?

TrdMama.

Yep, I'm now Turd Mama.

Not funny my love. Not funny at all.

Sigh.

Reinforcements needed. Pronto.

Let's say I have a child who, when they are hungry or tired, becomes a DEMON child whose mouth spews venom.

When this happens I know I need to get this child fed and into bed.

What I can't figure out is how to get this demon beast child fed and into bed when this demon beast child is fighting being fed and put to bed with every ounce of their being. 

Sigh.

Any ideas on how to force a child to sleep or eat against their will?

There really oughta be a pill....

I'm back...

Well, it seems I can be replaced.

And guess what? This is not bothering me in the least.

Tired Papa and I went away and left my trio with my thirty-something niece for the past four days and everyone survived.

I got some sun and time alone with Tired Papa, and when I came home tonight the kids were all alive and happy.

It was a win-win.

Darling niece? If you're reading this, I just want to say, I owe you.

Thank you.