How much help should a child get doing their homework?
At different times with my kids I've run the whole gambit while trying to help them with their homework. At times I do nothing to help and let them fail, and once I even did almost the whole project myself and, I might add, was quite proud of myself when I get a high mark from the teacher.
This weekend my son has a lot of homework, projects and a lot of extra curricular activities. He also has some invitations to do a few fun things with his friends.
My son wants to ditch the homework and projects and just go do the fun stuff. I can't really blame him.
The problem is that even though the projects may not be due for a few weeks, Tired Papa and I are going away next weekend. We're leaving the kids with our thirty something (long story - and no, I'm not really, really old. Well,unless you're my kids or any of their friends, because then I'm older than dirt) niece so I know very little is going to get done on his projects next weekend.
Part of me is thinking that if he doesn't get a good grade on a few sixth grade projects is it really the end of the world? Do you even remember what kinda marks you got in sixth grade?
On the other hand, I don't want to set the idea in his little head that school work is optional and that marks don't matter, because in time they will matter and they'll matter a lot.
I'm trying to find the middle ground here and I must admit I'm struggling. Part of me wants to just chuck all the projects and homework and let him play hockey, go to the movies with his buddies and uh, be an eleven year old boy.
The other part of me wants him to study all weekend, get into medical school at say, twelve and look after me, in very high style, in my old age.
Sigh.
Balance is a bitch.
I'm Leanne and I'm a tired mama. I work, I parent, I juggle and I don't seem to get enough sleep. Welcome to the place where I rant about all these things...
Why not somewhere in the middle? If he has a bunch of different projects, one every other night. Or some sort of plan that will get the HW done, but also give him the chance to get out and play?
Posted by: Kathy | January 25, 2009 at 12:53 AM
I would suggest combining everything to allow him to earn rewards through doing his schoolwork. If he spends a couple hours working on his project, he can go play hockey. Another couple hours and he can go to the movies. Let him make the decisions.
Good luck!
On another note, oh my gosh, a weekend away. Have a fabulous time!
Posted by: Anne | January 25, 2009 at 08:07 AM
We must have a good school - the kids rarely have homework that they can't finish before coming home, and what they do bring home they do on their own.
Or maybe that's a bad school. But they're learning...
Posted by: Karen | January 25, 2009 at 08:11 AM
Can you slip the niece a twenty to ride his sorry A$# like a rabid monkey while you're gone? Oh wait. That's just me.
Posted by: Fannie | January 25, 2009 at 04:22 PM
That's a tough line to hold onto. I have that from time to time with my oldest. Sometimes I have to ride her back to get things done, sometimes I don't even utter a word and it gets done. For her, it depends on what it is (and if there is any artistic element to it).
Good luck!
Posted by: Cindy | January 25, 2009 at 05:09 PM
Our usual m.o. is essentially, the lovies get to do a fun thing as a reward for doing the responsible things without making Mama crazy. (That last bit is the important part.)
Posted by: Holly (me.) | January 25, 2009 at 05:48 PM
oh oh, you've asked the wrong person! leanne, listen to me carefully, he is in GRADE SIX not working on his MBA. you and tired papa need a weekend away. do your best to get whatever done, HELP HIM, READ DO AS MUCH AS YOU CAN WITHOUT DOING THE WHOLE THING, let him have fun, life can change on a dime, and then go away, have fun, write the teacher a note if you have to. xo
Posted by: margie | January 26, 2009 at 09:27 AM